Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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