well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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