he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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