you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
