if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
In America we eat man semen.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
