I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize