Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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