TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?