he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.