Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.