I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?