Already got asked if we're dating
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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