you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
