I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
FUCK WHALES
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
