He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
