This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The struggles of a small town man whore
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