Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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