I wish my penis had an off switch
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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