I am in a vortex of obligation.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
