I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
