Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
where does the pee come out of this thing
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
