Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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