Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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