No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
