It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
