How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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