I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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