you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
