Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
