I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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