Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
