hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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