yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
