i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize