If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
