Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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