nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
