Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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