I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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