Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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