okay pat passed out under dana's car
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
