so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
