I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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