Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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