i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
