Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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