Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize