I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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