where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I got chris browned last night
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
