some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
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Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
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Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything