Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.