wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.