dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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