I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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