I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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