dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
