I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
