My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
