ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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