The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
