so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
