So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Its about making memories worth repressing
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
