so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
