@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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