Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
