I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
