Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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