I bet he comes in French.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
