how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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